


The Jack

by cannibalbat



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Crack, Daryls itchy balls, Embarrassment, Hershel is an actual doctor!AU, Hershel's getting too old for this shit, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 13:49:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1390033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cannibalbat/pseuds/cannibalbat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a few days now, Daryl has got a terrible itch. It becomes so unbearable that he asks Hershel for help and suddenly a big secret is revealed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Jack

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheDixcesters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDixcesters/gifts).



> Hello everyone~  
> This is my first fanfiction in english ever, so please forgive me if it's not so good.  
> I had a wonderful BETA, my sweet love [Loulou](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDixcesters/pseuds/TheDixcesters), she's perfect and wonderful and she helped me with this fanfiction and you should check out her fics because they are awesome just like her~
> 
> This fic is really cracky so be prepared.  
> Thank you for reading ~

It was a quite day, no walkers around. Daryl was thankful for that, that issue he had to deal with was already distracting enough. He couldn't imagine having to face a walker in the state he was in now, all of his thoughts were dedicated to the mayor itch down under. It was a happy mixture of pain and irritation, like there was a big party going on in his pants. And not the good kind of party.  
His dick was on fire, at least that's what it felt like. Last time he had his hands down there every five minutes he was in middle school when he discovered the joy of masturbating. Okay that was a lie, in primary school.  
Not like he cared, but at a certain point it became embarrassing to run around scratching his balls the whole day, it wasn't anyone’s business what was going on inside his boxers.  
Daryl couldn't explain where this god damn rash, or whatever this was, came from. Maybe he had hung his ass in poison ivy, since they had no functioning toilet around. Actually the whole apocalypse thing wasn't too different from his old home, but at least they had a decent toilet there. 

He was taking a bath in the lake for the third time now today, thinking it would do any better. His cock was cleaner than ever, but the itch wouldn’t stop. He held it in his hands, the top was red and swollen. ''God damn it won't you stop...'' He said to his dick, in an angry, reproachful voice. Suddenly, he felt the urge to pee. ''Oh shit not again!'' He whimpered softly squeezing his member. He took a quick look around, nobody was there. Moaning in pain and annoyance he stepped out of the water, his dick still in his hands.  
Pissing against a bush had never been so painful. He felt like instead of pee there was acid coming out. He whimpered and cursed while wetting the ground. If a walker attacked him now it would be an easy game. 

Fully dressed he went back to the camp, trying to distract himself with some work. Lori and Andrea were sitting nearby a tent, trying to attach it to the ground again. Last nights summer storm had messed up some of their tents, it wasn't a big storm however. Hershel still wouldn’t let them sleep inside or use their bathroom. Usually Daryl didn't mind, he liked some distance from the others and always preferred living in the nature. But right now, he was angry, if Hershel would have let them use his toilet he wouldn’t have sat down in stinging nettles or something. And his balls wouldn't feel like a bag full of bees. 

He walked over to Lori and Andrea and every time they didn't look he took a big scratch over his crotch. ''Have ya seen my brother?'' He asked casually, trying to figure out a face that didn't say 'my whole downside feels like new years fireworks'. Lori pushed the last peg inside the ground and looked up to him. ''Sorry, haven't seen him. Why are you asking?'' Andrea, sitting next to her, rubbed the dirt of her hands. ''Ahh it's nothin'. Just wanted to know.'' Daryl stepped back, putting his hands inside his pockets to prevent them from scratching again. ''Daryl... Is everything alright?'' Andrea asked, checking him up from top to bottom. Oh god no. His heart skipped a beat and he hesitated. ''Ohh yea of course, sure, why?'' He babbled nervously. Did they notice? It's not like it was too obvious or unusual, was it? Men scratch their balls often, so what? He was searching Andreas eyes for a sign of what she could think. She just stared at him for a second, then she turned away concentrating on the tent again. ''You don't look so good, I was just worried.'' She shrugged and Daryl took a deep breath. 

He definitely had to do something about this problem he had, right now. He peeked over to the farms house. Maybe he could sneak in and steal some salve. Just regular skin soothing stuff, even pain killers would do it. He knew Maggie and Glenn were somewhere near the stall doing horse stuff, last time he saw Rick and Shane was when they were drawing water from the well.  
''I'm going to check inside.'' He quickly turned around and started walking without giving them a chance to react. He knew that Merle wouldn't be inside Hershel's house.  
Since the day Rick joined them and he had been almost left to die on that damn roof, Merle was even more fractious than usual. He wasn't really willing to cooperate with anyone else but Daryl, which became troublesome sometimes. Daryl knew that Merle only stayed because of him. If it was up to his brother, they would be gone together. 

Stepping closer to the house, he saw that the door was open. So somebody just left or went back in. At least the first floor seemed empty from where he was standing. When he caught himself inside, he realized he had no idea where the Greenes stored their meds. He just began rummaging around, opening all different kinds of drawers and cupboards. 

Daryl remembered watching Hershel taking bandages out of a cabinet in the kitchen, but soon he realized that there were a shitload of cabinets in the kitchen. Checking under the sink only revealed the trash bin, the cupboard next to the fridge stored glasses and plates. Why was there so much god damn tableware in the kitchen anyway ?!

Searching through the stuff made quite some noise, even though Daryl watched out carefully. But after a short while he became more careless, as it appeared that the house was in fact, empty.  
He had already started to notice the itching a few days earlier. But it hadn't been as bad as today. The days before, it was just like a mosquito bite, bugging him from time to time but not being too much of a bother. Now it was so troublesome, Daryl didn't think he'd be able to fall asleep like this. Thinking of sleep, he tried to figure out how he should explain to Merle that they couldn't have sex tonight. If he'd say the truth or that he wasn't feeling so well, his brother would definitely mock him for being a pussy. 

It wasn't like Daryl wasn't used to it, but if his brother would only have a little shred of doubt that his problem wasn't serious, he'd just ignore it and go on anyway. This time he couldn't let him do that.  
He let out a little sigh, pulling out the last drawer of the cupboard he just checked. Inside were scissors, duck tape, paperclips and other useless stuff. When he wanted to close it again, his heart skipped a whole beat after hearing a sound behind him.

''Looking for something in particular?'' Well fuck, that was Hershel. Daryl tried to stay as calm as possible turning around and making an innocent face. ''Oh you know, just...'' He started but soon realized he had no idea what to say. His whole head just blanked out, there was just white space and no ideas for quick excuses. ''Umm... where did ya come from? Upstairs?'' Daryl asked clumsily. He was terrible at this, Merle was always better at lying than him.  
''No, I was next door the whole time.'' Daryl wasn't sure but he felt like he heard some slight amusement in the old man's voice. Now the whole situation became even more embarrassing.  
''You could've said somethin' y'know..'' Daryl murmured through clenched teeth. ''I really don't want to invade your privacy...'' Oh shit, a sentence that starts like that just can't end good.  
''But do you have some... troubles in your nether... regions?'' Well know it became a really awkward situation for both of them. ''Ummm...'' Daryl stammered, blinking at Hershel. This whole thing started to get so uncomfortable Daryl, almost forgot his itching for a second. ''Why you askin'?'' Daryl really didn't want to talk about his 'nether regions' with Hershel. Damn he didn't want to talk about his dick with anybody, except maybe his brother sometimes. 

''I just noticed you're scratching yourself more often than usual. And you look like you're in pain too. I'm a doctor after all, Daryl.'' Wait what does he mean with more than usual?! Does he have a check list of how often Daryl Dixon scrapes his ball sack a day?! That old man had some nerves for sure. However, Daryl's face was flushed red. He looked at his feet, talking to the ground. ''Ah no... it's just... nothin'...'' He spoke so unclear, Hershel barely understood him. ''Just 'n allergy or somethin'...'' Yeah, that was stupid as fuck. Most people don't get allergies all over their fucking cock. 

It was only natural that Hershel didn't believe him, Daryl wasn't giving him too much of a hard game. Also he could clearly see from his face how much Daryl ached to scratch himself again. ''Touching the irritated area isn't good you know. It makes it worse and more hurtful for you.'' The doctor was embarrassed too but he tried hard not to show - Daryl appreciated the effort. ''I just need some salve or somethin'...'' He still couldn't bring himself to look Hershel in the eyes.

''Salve won't help if I don't know exactly what you're dealing with.'' Now Daryl had to give him that he was really just trying to help, but that didn't change the fact that Daryl really didn't want to have this conversation. ''Ya want me to show you my dick?!'' He was rude, but Hershel stayed calm.

''I just want to help you-'' Hershel started the sentence but was immediately interrupted by Daryl who couldn't endure the pain any longer. ''Okay fine! But make it stop!'' He started to jerk on his belt buckle aggressively and was halfway done when he heard someone enter the main door.  
The sound made him wince, his hands still on his belt.  
''Dad?'' A soft voice called out. It was Beth, Hershels daughter.  
Hershel turned around facing the young girl. ''What is it, sweetie?'' He asked, sweat drops shining on his forehead. This couldn't get any wronger. 

''Maggie and Glenn are taking the horses out for a ride, can I join them?'' You mean can you cock block them, Daryl thought. She glanced at his open belt, then quickly looked away. He was relieved that she was too polite to say anything.  
''Uhh sure honey but be careful!'' Hershel probably wouldn't have let her to go but right now he just wanted to proceed with Daryls issue as fast as possible. 

Beth face lightened up and she left, not wanting to stay any longer in a room with Darlys open pants.  
There was an awkward silence now between Hershel and him.  
''Ok, could we close the door?'' Hershel obliged his favor and shut the door right away. ''Listen, I really don't want anybody to know 'bout this okay?'' Daryl had his hands on his fly again. ''Of course not!'' The elder looked slightly offended by Daryls lack of trust, but it wasn't something personal. Daryl was used to being extremely suspicious of anybody who wasn't Merle, mainly because it was his big brother who always persuaded him into believing that everyone he met was a backstabbing bitch. 

Daryl took one deep breath and then pulled down his pants, only far enough that his trouble maker was visible. He wasn't able to look Hershel in the eyes, but he also didn't want to see his swollen dick, so he looked at the wall in shame. He only heard Hershel take in a sharp breath of air, murmuring something that sounded like 'Jesus Christ'. That reaction was reason enough for Daryl to put his pants back on and let the blood flush into his face, making it a shining red. 

''Daryl...'' Hershel said incredulous with a sign of reproach. ''What?!'' Daryl's voice was louder now, he hated that kind of disappointed look on Hershels face without knowing what he did wrong.  
''You really don't know what that is..?'' His doctor sat down and massaged his forehead with his thumb and index finger. ''D'ya really think I'd be sittin' in the kitchen wigglin' my dick in your face if I knew what was goin' on?!'' He had a point there. While Daryl looked desperate Hershel tried to find words, like he had reached his limits. ''Daryl, you have an STD. That's most likely Gonorrhea or Syphilis-'' He couldn't even finish talking. ''NO FUCKING WAY!'' Daryl shouted in deep shock. ''That's impossible, I mean how-....'' He stopped there, Hershels and his eyes met and it was like he read his mind.

Suddenly all the nights flashed before his inner eye, the time he spent with his brother in a way you shouldn't spent it. That first time in the woods, down by the river, in the car near the highway... Soon after that almost every night in the tent. It was ridiculous luck that they never were caught. And it was even more ridiculous that they would be caught now, because of this.  
It was all Merles fault, he was the one with the clap! He could have told him.. Daryl thought it was over, his brother didn't need the medicaments anymore. 

''Listen boy...'' Hershel slapped his shoulder. ''Take the antibiotics left from your brother, and if somebody asks you say it's a infected tick bite'' Daryl nodded, his face was still red but he started to cool down. Daryl was thankful for Hershels help even though he seemed completely done with his shit. 

Being glad that this moment was finally over, Daryl turned his back to Hershel and started to leave. Just when his hand was hovering over the handle of the door, he heard Hershel calling after him. "And Daryl!" Daryl turned around, facing the elder with a questioning look. "You fuck with your brother, you risk your life"


End file.
